it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
