I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
