hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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