You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
