Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
