so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize