Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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