so that wasnt chicken after all
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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