Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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