My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
you told grandpa to call you daddy
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize