I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
