I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Randomize
