i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize