He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
