i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
