I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
