Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
