$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
