I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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