idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Too much gin, very little bucket
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
