Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
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