Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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