people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
