u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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