Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
