i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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