I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You dont lie about slip and slides
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
