What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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