Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
