They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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