She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
foreskin is a definite game changer
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
