turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
