i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize