I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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