Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize