I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
