As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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