I hope mine doesn't look like that
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Randomize
