in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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