Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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