If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Come share oat with me in your robe
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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