Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
