I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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