Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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