yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
