Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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