Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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