you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
