Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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