so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
