so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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