So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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