ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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