It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
