They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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