He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
