He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
