Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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