I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I am available for nakedness
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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