The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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