I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm jealous of your bromance
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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