College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
