Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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