i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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