Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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