I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Randomize