i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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