Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
