at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
