Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
